While I believe a solid theological understanding must be first and foremost rooted in scripture, I also believe our beliefs are significantly influenced by our emotions, and that it is not out of line to really examine and look at those. We should ask ourselves why things bother us, and why others don't. If God did indeed write His law on our hearts, and He does indeed dwell in us, then it makes sense that our spirit would have a sense of His character. So I start with some questions, rooted in a combination of emotion and logic, and answered through scripture.
The first things I would like to ask, is a rhetorical question that has always haunted me, and has only been reconciled by my belief in God's plan for the salvation of all mankind.
If anyone I had ever known, a friend, colleague, family member, even acquaintance, had died and gone to hell for eternity because I lacked the courage to speak up, could I live with myself? Could I live an eternity with the thought that their blood would forever be on my hands? That every moment they suffered, they would remember me as the one who was too shy to share? That they would curse my name for all eternity. Could I live with myself? Could you? If I believed there would really be an endless suffering in the torture chamber of hell, I would probably hate myself for not being bold enough. If it sounds judgmental to say this, forgive me, but I truly do not know how anyone can live with themselves, if they know there is even one person they could have saved.
Another question I would like to ask regarding evangelism. For anyone with the right heart can be evangelical regardless of his theological beliefs. Let me ask this though: Out of what motive do you evangelize? Is it love, or desperation? Have you ever driven down the road and seen "Turn or Burn" signs, or threats of hell from protestors? How does that make you feel? Personally, I feel a great sympathy. When you believe there is only a blink of an eye in comparison with the eternity that lies ahead, what choice do you have but to evangelize out of desperation? There isn't time for love when a person could die at any time. There is only a hectic, desperate attempt to get them before it's too late. Is that what we are called to? Is that the good news of the gospel? Turn or burn? Really? See I believe that when you have the good news that everyone will be saved, that God loves everyone, and someday He will reconcile each to Himself, you can proclaim with love and joy the wonderful, breathtaking plan of the Father for those He loves so very much. Then people don't feel pushed. They feel loved. Isn't love that much more effective?
And one final question that I wrestle with, for you to chew on. Simply asked, how could I worship a God that could not save me from myself? If God must bow down to my choice, or accept my stubbornness, and either could not, or refused to, save me from my choice, how can I worship Him? If I knew I was saved because of my faith, and that while His grace made it possible, my faith made it real, would I not just worship myself? Would I not become my own God? No you say, for it is a cooperative effort. Ok then, would I just not worship at all, because God and I came to a mutual agreement, and shook hands on the business deal of Jesus' blood for my salvation? I believe that Jesus' blood was the price, and God's love was the will. I am not saved because I choose to be. I am saved because God, in His infinite glory and grace and love, called me out of death into life. Paul says we are spiritually dead. I, in my death, did not save myself and pull myself out of the grave. Jesus invaded my life and made it impossible for me to deny Him. And so He will for everyone in His own time.
So now I ask you these questions. Chew on them, answer them. Can you live with blood on your hands? If not, will your attempt to evangelize be so desperate it will lose love? And finally, do you worship the God whom you believe just sat back and watched, hoping you would choose salvation? Or do you worship a God who would not relent until He had you?
Think on it. Pray on it. Our beliefs start in our heart. Check your heart, and as we delve into theology we will build on scripture. But first, check your heart. I have too.
In His love,
Rebekah
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